Scrupulosity Religious OCD

I was raised in a strict Christian household. Growing up I was told to adhere to all the rules, else god will punish me. Any mistake I made, they said god will punish me.

Which is why I followed all the rules religiously. But over the years, things have gotten really hard for me. Any mistake I make I think about god and mess up.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, it is understandable. In fact, it’s common. Even to this day, I find it hard to cope. Being from semi-urban doesn’t help either. As everyone is overly religious.

It sucks. Everyone knows everyone. People preach all the time. But the worst part, is my fears about god and life increase. Not that I’m scared of god, just that life in general sucks. You start obsessing over the smallest things, from picking up a fight to arguing with your parents.

Religious OCD and fear of god

I can’t argue with my parents as I feel I’m defying god. I’m hurting them or doing something un-Christianly. With all that being said, I wish I wasn’t scared of everything. I wish I had more control over myself.

I know this is a rant, but I just wanted to put my thoughts out there. So, that I can better deal with life everyday. Opening up has done wonders, hence doing that.